Our Dog, Who Art in Heaven

This is what I want heaven to be: I get squashed by a 10-ton truck or something, anything so I die really fast. Maybe there's time for the White Light, maybe not. I wake up all peaceful and whatnot, scanning the scenery of green pastures and white clouds. That cliche´d view of heaven works just fine. And there they are - every dog I've ever loved bounds up to me. Alice Siebold described a heaven like this in her remarkable novel, The Lovely Bones. But honestly? There's a lot of people I loved and have been loved by on this earth that I don't particularly want to see again on the other side of the Pearly Gates. Like my parents. Yep, I'd rather spend the rest of my afterlife with Brigette, Cruiser, People, Napolean - even Cognac, who bit me on the face when I woke him up too fast. I was a child, he was a small dog - not a good combo.